Prologue

                      ‘Get up Tanmay, don’t you have office today?’ Aai pulled my blanket away early in the morning to show me the sun. The clock said 8.30 AM. It was one of those mornings, when in spite of knowing I was running late I didn’t want to get up. I pulled the blanket over and tried sleeping. Couldn’t. I was never woken up this way in the last 3 years….Jia never had to, and if she did, she would consider throwing a bucket of water over me. I was in the same house, on the same side of the bed, sans her. Aai knew I needed someone to be with that’s why she came to Pune. She pulled the blanket again,” Get up Tanmay, get ready.” School days were the same, Aai used to pull me out of bed ten times and I would go back again. This time, I got up, half-heartedly, got ready and the only thing I was thinking of all this while was how things had turned out to be and I hated it. At the table for breakfast now, Aai was saying something and I wasn’t even listening. She smiled at me as I was about to get up and I just smiled back.

                     The moment I entered the office, people stopped giggling and chatting with each other. They looked at me like I was not human. Ignoring them, I just walked to my desk and started reading my mails. I could see people talking now like they were playing Chinese whispers. Assholes! No awards for guessing what were they talking about! Jia left me alone, taking our kid with her, what more exciting news would people wanna talk about? So what’s gonna happen now? Divorce? Would she come back? Did Tanmay have an extra marital affair? And things I couldn’t even think of. Those who knew me would never think that I had an extra marital affair because impressing Jia had taken me almost a lifetime and that wasn’t going to happen again in this life. Women at work were looking at me as if I was a wife beater or something of sorts. I so didn’t want that but couldn’t help. My mind was wandering in a border-less world of its own, hadn’t spoken a word since morning. Awful Morning.

                   Mohit walked in, like he always did every morning. He knew what people were talking about outside. He sat on the table & just patted on my back saying, “Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be alright. She will come back.” I just got off my chair in a flash, turned around and walked towards the window, still not saying anything; I didn’t need to. “I know it’s difficult to live this way but you can’t stop living Tany. Did she? Why the hell should you? Come on buddy, this is so not you, I guess you didn’t see yourself in the mirror this morning otherwise you wouldn’t have been this way.” I really didn’t remember if I did look in the mirror, I just looked at him like I was about to speak but stopped before I even began. “What?” He said, raising his eyebrows. “Oh, wait a minute! I know what’s bothering you more than ever. Damn I should have known it. That’s what you are worried about!!” and he tapped the table. When I saw him in the eyes he looked so confident I thought he knew the answers to all the questions including the one about what came first?, the egg or the chicken. “What?” That’s the only word I said with a question mark on my face. “Your credit cards are still with her!!” And he just bit his tongue. A two-second laugh & I said “Yeah! You are right, my credit cards! Thanks a lot for reminding!” I walked to him, punched him on his protruding tummy. “Saaley, tu nahi sudhrega!” We walked out for a cup of tea and started talking about something else. That PJ helped….moreover Mohit did have a point, Jia had my credit cards. And statistics suggested that for revenge, she might decide to go shopping! That’s what she was best at, like every other woman on this earth! What Mohit said took me back to the day when I had first swiped dad’s credit card to buy her a dress. That was long back in during my engineering studies…..Perhaps, the best days of my life in every way!

Excerpt 3- The First Talk

                  Mathematics was deeply in love with me; it never left me and never let me do the same. Girls & mathematics were similar, I never understood either of them. Fortunately, a girlfriend wasn’t a part of my life till now & I was quite ‘happy’ since I already had mathematics to deal with. It was the first paper of my 10+2 exam & the morons in the education board had found the best way to screw me, by starting up with mathematics!

                 Having already screwed up the inter first year exams, I wished I could do a bit better. But who can stop the unstoppable? I started walking to my exam center from the hostel with Raviteja aka RT. He was one among the geniuses of my class. This was a solid moral ‘boost’ for me. He seemed as calm and composed as a person who had taken a leak after controlling it for hours! He never associated exams with tensions, unlike me whose scariest nightmares were full of exams. We continued walking out of the small lane of our hostel until someone interrupted our way in a flash.

“Tanmay….I wanna talk to you, now”, the voice demanded. I looked up to a tall, fair girl, who stood right next to me. It was Jia, my classmate, who for the moment didn’t look like one. She was looking into my eyes the same way Arjuna looked into the bird’s eye as I looked for any signs of guns, knives on her. I was gasping for air when RT, who now looked like someone who wanted to take a leak desperately asked me, “Who is she Tany? Where did she come from?” I just looked at him and assuring peace, I spoke to the girl, “Jia, I will talk to you but not now since I have an exam. My center is too far from here, so we need to go. I will talk to you once the exam is over. Is that okay with you?” I spoke as if my life was at stake. “Hmm, Gimme your mobile number”, she said. “9849091250. Call me after 2 PM & I will talk to you”, I said with that a fake smile, continued walking. I felt like asking God, “What made you think appearing for the exam wasn’t enough to scare me? Why the girl?” That look of her was stuck in my mind. It took me time to realize that she looked innocent, the demanding voice didn’t help me see it. What does she wanna talk to me about? Does she love me? Naah…I am not made for this shit. May be she is bugged with my friends, who keep teasing her about me. Yeah, that must be the reason! I stopped thinking about her eventually, as I was getting nearer to my exam center. Obviously, maths was what I needed to think of.

                My examination center was on the first floor of a building, whose ground floor had a Bar Restaurant. The mission & vision of the college was perhaps ‘We help you forget your exams with a shot!’ The bar looked so inviting, maybe I’ll need to come in after the exam. I climbed up the staircase and searched for my exam hall. The exam started, I begged for mercy one last time before I looked into the question paper.

I knew the answer to the first question! Yay! I started writing. Once finished, I went to the second, realized I had skipped this chapter…disgusted, frustrated. skipped it. Went to the third, fourth & fifth, continuing to feel disgusted. There were 10 questions. God, let me pass this one please! Somehow, I managed to answer the questions that came in later. Having assured that I will pass, I sat relaxed. Jia will call sharp at 2 PM, I knew it. Strangely, I was waiting for her call, even when I knew it was still 12.50 PM, the exam was to be over by one.

               I walked out of the center shortly after the exam was over, RT was now calm and composed again like he was in the morning. I didn’t bother asking him how was his exam since I didn’t want to kill myself. We went to Siddhartha, straightaway, where we had food. 1.59 pm, the mobile rang. Unknown local number. I answered, “Hello”. “Dude, please get a dosa parcel for me. I am not coming to Siddhartha now.” “What? Who is this?” “Arey, main Tanvir bolra re, please leke aana yaar”, he said. I was shouting literally,“kya re Hawle, tera phone kaha gaya? Kidhar se call Ghumara?” I was expecting Jia to call when this stud called me up. “This is the hostel’s number dude, how you don’t have it?” Tanvir said. “Ok buddy, will get one Dosa for you, bye”.

I finished eating & was walking down to the hostel. My mobile rang again, no more surprises now. I knew it was Jia right away. “Hello”. “Hi Tanmay, this is Jia, how was your exam?”…. “Exam? It was good.” What ‘good’ meant, only I knew. “So tell me Jia, what happened? All of a sudden you wanted to talk to me, what’s the matter?” I asked, now sounding pretty confident unlike in the morning. “Tanmay, I wanted to tell you this since so many days but couldn’t gather any courage. But now that I know you will be leaving Hyderabad in a month, I just wanted you to tell you.” I was so sure she wanted to say those 3 ‘magical’ words, but I wished she didn’t say it because I wasn’t ready at all. “Yeah, tell me Jia”, I asked even when I didn’t want to know. “Tanmay, I like you very very much. I don’t think it’s love but I want to share each and every feeling of mine with you……” And she continued. Well, isn’t it what they call attraction? I’d never spoken to her except in the days for preparation of Independence Day celebrations & here she is, telling me all her chronicle. Is it love that she hasn’t realized till now? Whatever it is….it’s complicated! She spoke so much about herself, her family & what not…I sat in a chair listening to the story of her life with no idea why she is telling me everything when she doesn’t know me at all. She continued for like an hour or so. Finally, she gave me a chance to speak, when she said, “I hope you don’t mind being my friend Tanmay, is it okay?” Her innocence was clearly evident from her voice, I didn’t know what to say. Still confused, I replied, “Jia, I don’t mind being your friend at all” “I am happy that you like talking to me Tanmay, I will call you again then so that we know each other better, hope you don’t mind” “Yeah, sure! You can call me whenever you want, I don’t mind.” I answered like I was so sure of what was on her mind. “Ok then, bye Tanmay and have a nice day ahead!” She said that with a smile that I could figure out from the voice. “Bye Jia!”

                  With no idea of what was in store for me, I hung up. Already having undergone the fury of maths for the day, my mind was too tired to understand her intentions from this call. So I just did what was required, stopped thinking!

Time's Up!

                  Time is something unique that really lets you realize its importance when it’s gone. It’s that one tiny second sometimes, which makes a phenomenal difference! It doesn't care whether you are moving with it or you are staying back. In everybody’s life comes a moment when they say, “Damn, I should have done this earlier!” But they do know that it’s too late! I am no exception to this… Time has taught me how sumptuous it can be not to keep the pace with it!

                  I have faced such a hard time twice in my life…Once, in the final days of my Graduation. I knew life after the last day of college would be completely antithetical! Fun part of the life almost gone! What am I gonna do now? Is this it? I wish I had some more time! The Separation was killing me. I remember one of my friends saying,” Ab kalse College band! Meri toh lag gayi! Ab use dekh bhi nahi paunga! Maine use keh dena tha yaar ki main use bahot chahta hoon! But now I can’t do it, mera time Khatam!

                   I realized Time was not that cruel then, when I discovered all of my college coming to Pune one by one! Me & Sham came first, then came Kunal, Naini(Ankur), Chaitanya (CMD), Aditya, Ram, Mohit, Puthiya (Anil), Rajesh,Tejya, Amlya and Our Guruji (Khari) Ansh kept coming every now and then to keep us under his chatrachaya, Shayad yeh dekhne ki bacche bigad toh nahi rahe! LOL! The only one left was Raj, who chose to stay back at A’bad because his Infy training for he was gonna move to Mysore. My world was complete again!! Added to this, when I joined TechM, I made some awesome friends in my training, my whole batch CS36 was amazing to be with. We all got attached so fast that it hardly seemed like we had met a few days ago. After spending time with my college buddies and TechM friends, my definition of the words Enjoy, Celebrate, Laughter became bigger than what it was before!

                Unfortunately or I must say as Always, time refused to keep us together, separated us so differently, breaking us into bits and bytes! Thankfully, none of us was left alone but we went miles and miles away from each other! Before we could even realize the difference it will cause, we were already away. Some in Channai, Some in Bangalore, some still in Pune and a few Lucky ones like me in Kolkata!

           It’s strange how one learns to manage life with changing time! (I know one has to even if he/she doesn’t wish for that!) You change your habits, lifestyle like everything around you……..I always keep telling myself, Expect the worst, Hope for the best. That Hope is Hopelessly Endless, because I never got the Best; rather I never even got the Bad, always got the Worst! People say, this is a new start for you, but as long as I don’t see that good start coming my way, I won’t believe what they tell me.

             Next time life asks me to change Myself, I will have just one thing to ask, “What good have you done to me to keep accepting what you make me face!” But Life’s answer is as simple as this: “Well Nishad, That’s me- Your Life! Live with me or else I’ll leave you!” With that kind of a reply, I guess I’m better off this way! Long live Positivity, Hope, Me and my beloved Friends!

Excerpt 2- An incidence in TE

                    “Aisi Laagi lagan,meera ho gayi magan…….!” Anshul started singing when we were waiting for the results of the Alpha Tech recruitment aptitude test in the Einstein Hall. We all followed him like his disciples! Singing 3 bhajans, namely ‘Aisi laagi lagan’, ‘Hey Ram, Hey Ram’ & ‘Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram’ was a tradition which Anshul had started before any test results! At the time of the result, we must have been singing these bhajans with double the devotion than any priests would! I was totally hopeless even though I had done well in the test. After screwing up the aptitude test of 2 companies, expecting me to clear the test was like expecting Zimbabwe to win the cricket world cup final against Australia! I was wearing the same dirty white shirt & blue jeans that I had worn for the last two days! “Would anyone bother even looking at me after I flunk today?” I thought. I had given up wearing formals for campus recruitment because at the end of the day, I would always look like a well dressed Ass! I had realised that Lord Anshul was 200% correct when he said, “If you wish for things to be your way, it must be your day!” We all had become his disciples, after he was selected in 2 of the earlier recruitment drives. To tell you more, he had also appeared for Alpha Tech & I was surer about his selection than mine!

                   I didn’t notice a volunteer walking towards me when I was in the world of Lord Anshul’s nectar-speech. “Congrats Tanmay! You’ve cleared the test, prepare well for the technical interview”, she said. I didn’t know how to react, I was happy to clear the aptitude test; on the other hand, I had to face the displeasing technical interview. Gathering all my courage, I went to the HR who, to my surprise had called me for HR interview first and then I moved to the dreadful Technical interview where I dragged the interviewer to ask me some stupid technical questions. He was aggressive initially but I always knew that “All big cats are not tigers!”

                  After the interview went well, I came out and was thinking what if I get selected? “Aai-Baba will be really happy! Should I tell Jia? There’s no point in calling her since she hadn’t answered even a single call since the DS exams. Thank god I managed to pass; otherwise campus recruitment would have been a distant dream.

                  We shifted again to the bhajan mode before the final result. “Hey Ram…Hey Ram…!” Our voice echoed in the hall, inviting other living things to join us! Finally, the moment arrived! “We have selected only 5 students out of the 30 students we interviewed!” That’s what the HR announced. I turned backwards with my eyes closed. I knew I wasn’t in the top 5 for sure. He then announced the names, one by one. Amol Kulkarni, Pallavi Washiwale, Prateek Jain, Pooja Sonawane, Mohit Agrawal” He then took a big pause & continued, “Anshul Khariwal, Aniket Jain, Tanmay Kulkarni…!” “Yes!! I shouted & jumped high with joy! Today is my day & I’ve done it! “Tany, you did it buddy!” One of my friends hugged me saying this. I was so happy, I don’t remember who he was!

                  After spending time with my friends in the college, I walked back to my place. I had spoken to Aai-Baba & they were really happy! I felt like I gave them something they wished for! My mind kept switching between whether or not I should call Jia. But I knew she wouldn’t answer so I gave up the thought. I wasn’t so happy to give up that thought, after many days; I was missing my little angel!

                 I reached my apartment. Hemant, who had cleared his test but couldn’t clear interview, was sitting in one corner, dejected. I felt really bad to walk in that way. Without making my presence felt, I went in, had dinner and lay on my bed talking to friends and family over phone. It was 11.30 when I noticed he had slept. Turned off the lights, I wasn’t feeling sleepy though, for being happy or sad or whatever. My cell rang once again, I yawned at looked at it, ‘Jia Calling’ it read! I couldn’t believe my eyes! Did she get to know about Alpha Tech? Who would have told her? Or is there really ‘The Connection’ between us that’s why she called me 3 months later out of nowhere? With a blank mind I answered “Hello”, “Hello Tanmay” I just loved her voice, felt good to hear her after such a long time “Is this you Jia?” I asked, I couldn’t just believe that it was her. “Yes Tanmay, it’s me!” “How come you called all of a sudden?” I asked her in a very low voice, I wished probably that bloody Pankaj was out of her life now! “Nothing much Tany, I just felt like talking to you, so called. How’s life?” she asked. “Just going on. You tell me how are things on your side?” I asked her. “Just wanted to know if you are fine or not.” She replied. “Thanks for your concern Jia, but how can you explain this? When I tried calling you immediately after DS exam and later for 3 months, you didn’t reply even once! Even if you would have said that you didn’t wish to talk to me, I wouldn’t ever have called you again..” “I am sorry Tany for I reacting that way”, she interrupted, “and things in my situation demanded not talking to you. So I couldn’t answer!” Not even in the craziest dreams I wanted to know the reason as to what those situations were. I asked, “Hows Pankaj” My enemy. “He’s fine, I just spoke to him!” I didn’t actually want to hear anything about Pankaj, I wonder why the hell did I even ask about him?

                  Both of us kept mum for sometime. Finally, I broke the silence, “by the way, today Alpha Tech had come to our campus & I got selected!” Somehow, I wasn’t sounding happy, “Oh! That’s good Tany! So you must be a happy now?” she asked. “I am happy for my parents! Also, in spite of all the problems that I faced after that day, I still made it! And to be honest I still don’t blame you completely Jia. You did what you felt was right, & so will I. It was really nice talking to you after a long time. Bye! I abruptly hung up. I didn’t want to talk to her, maybe because I was not willing to get into the past because if I did, I would be always hopeful about her comeback. After all that I had faced, I didn’t want her to come back because she had hurt me where it pained the most!

Excerpt 1- Bye bye!

                “These sorting algorithms are important or what?”, I asked Hemant as I was going through them for the first time in my life! The clock was running like Usain Bolt making his way to the finish line! The exam was at 2pm. For a while, I thought this last minute mugging up is not anyways going to help me but still my heart was unable to digest it as easily as my mind did! “Only read Bubble Sort Algorithm, rest all are pure piece of shit!” Hemant suggested. I believed Hemant like a typical Indian, who believes in his luck when he buys a new lottery ticket and hopes to win a million rupees!

                After a long time silence, my mobile started singing with joy and happiness! It was Jia of course. She was back from her industrial visit & short trip to north India a day before. I was expecting a call from her since morning. It was 11.30 AM now. I smiled & answered her call, “Hi Baby! Wassup? Why didn’t you call me up since morning? You know what I am just mugging up things for now; who wants to be the university topper anyways?” I justified like a typical engineering student, who says the same thing before each and every exam!! “What are you doing sweetheart? Where are you?” I asked her.

               She didn’t seem to be in a mood to listen to me. “Tanmay, I wanna tell you something.” I felt the seriousness in her voice & also understood that she had not heard even a single word of what I had spoken earlier! “I think we should stop it here, we are going no where with this; I am finding it difficult to take it further…Can we just leave it here Tany?” I felt like a small kid who is forced to swallow a tablet when he falls ill. “What’s wrong Jia? Why are you saying this all of a sudden? What’s happening?” I was trying to figure out where the hell did I go wrong, when I was saying all this. Did I forget some important day like our “First Date Anniversary” or some stupid day like that which only a girl can remember? Or was she joking? “Tell me honey what’s happening with you?” I asked her again in a worried voice.

             After a big sigh, she started, “Tany, do you remember my friend Pankaj I told you about? He has been looping around since a year now, he is a good friend & I didn’t want to hurt him anymore. You do know I am a person who doesn’t like hurting people!” I wondered if she thought I was happy listening to this shit? “During the trip, when we were at The Taj Mahal, he expressed his love for me again, he said all he wanted is to see me happy all my life and he could do anything for that. His eyes were speaking more than his words. That really made me think when he loves me so much, why should I play with his heart? He is always there every time I need something and he understands me a lot………..” Listening to all this made me lean backwards, I sunk gradually into my chair like a Mimosa Pudica Herb, whose leaves turn inward or droop when shaken or touched! I was not listening to her now. By this time, there wasn’t much of bubble sort or data structures left in my mind & the only thing that I could figure out was that she was leaving me for another guy. She had found someone else! I didn’t want this to happen. So I interrupted and asked her, “Is this all happening with me because I couldn’t come to see you last month? Or is it that you are being selfish? Don’t you think that I don’t deserve this Jia? Or do you think I am having fun here without you? When we are staying more than 1000 kilometers away from each other, its practically impossible for me to come to your place every time you feel alone or unhappy about something. We need to understand each other & our situations….” “But Tany, I don’t think this is going to help us anymore”, she interrupted. “Lets just stop it here, now that I’ve found someone, who is always with me and understands me better unlike you who is least bothered.”

             By this time, each & every guy named Pankaj had become my enemy for life and I swear I could kill every Pankaj in this universe that I would come across. “Tany, I think you should leave this now, you have an exam today so you better concentrate on that, we will talk about this later, okay? All the best & forget this for now. Bye bye! ” All this felt so artificial and unreal to me. Instantaneously, I felt that this book of Data Structures was here to stay with me for at least one more semester! “I am fucked big time now” I thought. Hopelessly, I went back to my lovely linked lists and all others who must have been feeling rejected till now. Unlike Jia, they couldn’t find a better person to take care of them and since I didn’t want to screw up my exam , I started reading again. It was already 1 PM. “Gone with the wind…..Why does she always screw up my exams?” I thought.

            Somehow I was also feeling happy that now, I at least had a reason to fail in the exam compared to my earlier situation where I lacked one! I was being reasonable, I thought!

Excerpts Of My Novel!

                    I started writing a novel few years back, but with life’s surprises, the places it took me to and my work, I never really got a chance to finish it. But I am back and back stronger. It’s about a guy and a girl, who are from two different cultures, they fall in love and get married. It is said that Love lasts forever, this is a Journey that Tanmay & Jia undertake to find out whether it is just a saying or reality. Tanmay is a Maharashtrian guy, while Jia is a South Indian girl.

                  All the characters appearing in this work are fictitious. I will post excerpts randomly from the story, which you all can read. There’s not a lot of Humor in this story but its fun! Hope you all like it! My readers are my critics, so I urge you to comment, mail me your views so that I can do better as I go along. :)

Everything Happens For A Biiiiig Reason!

                        Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there... to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but when you look eyes with them, you know that every moment that you are with them, they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart.

                       Everything happens for a Big Reason! Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from.... In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things.

                      MAKE EVERYDAY COUNT! Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people who you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, even if it doesn't seem right because you are too young or too far, just follow your heart. Surround yourself with those who make you smile, laugh, and make you happy. Break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life then LET GO and LIVE IT!